Friday, June 17, 2005

The G-Spot

My freind Shneb asked muh ma fuckin ta jive uh little bit about Hollywood an' sheeit. I wuz like, whatever, how much green be I getting aout if dis here. He said nuttin' but respect fo' muh ma fuckin homeboy, so I said whatever, I'll do it just like mammy. All right, all right. No mo' hype lets get to dis. Allow me ta introduce myself, muh ma fuckin name iz Jason D And I'm uh surefire, full blooded bonafide crib rockin' Jam-On Production MC If ya wants da bomb, put me ta da tess, an' I'm sure you'll soon agree. That I got nahh force 'cause I'm down by law when it comes ta rockin' viciously, ya see. O.k. down ta bidness. Who know who I be. You iz tearing up da crib. My name iz Hollywood Holla John Blaze Soyland. From here on out I be going ta be tell ya about what iz going on in Hollywood. It isn’t dat I know much about Hollywood. If fact, I don’t know sheeit about Hollywood. I just hang wiff da stars. You know how I do. Four Seasons, smokin’ with da heathens. Right now, I be just thinking about muh ma fuckin ho Angelina Jolie. Some fools wuz jivin' about her gettin up out da game. I gave da ho uh page, ya know how I do. I page on da personal phone too. None o' dis here big star agent sheeit fo' Hollywood Soyland ya heard me fo real. Ang told da dat "There's so much drama dat comes wiff films -- bickering wiff studios, directors fighting fo' they scrip'. There'stoo much sheeit about what product we's need ta git out ta make dis here much money on dat weekend." Jolie said dat she would prefer spending mo' tyme wiff her adopted son Maddox an' pursuing her werk as uh goodwill ambassador fo' da United Nations High Commissioner fo' Refugees. Real heavey sheeit fo sho’!! "I guess I just don' care as much as I used ta,” she told me. My ho's just happier doin' other things, that’s why I love ya sister.. That’s da scoop. ---Jason Holla Jimmy Hoffa Soyland, Smokin’ trees in Belize don't make me shank ya! One.

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